Saturday, May 28, 2011
I enjoy being a mom!!
This has been my goal! I have tried to force it, but something just wasn't clicking. I wanted it so bad, and felt awful for my honest feelings. I have loved my kids, but always wanted to enjoy things--for real. I could think of cute things, and things that I loved, but over-all....it was just hard. Recently I have been able to make a breakthrough!! I saw a counselor and even without any major ta-do's--click--I feel like a whole new person!! I am enjoying things. It is a happy feeling, and I couldn't be more grateful. Even this morning I had to take Sydnee to the doctor--which is horrible. But I found myself enjoying it. Not the tears or the shrieking, or the fact that she is sick. Just enjoyed loving her and taking care of her. I loved wiping her nose, and distracting her while we waited. I loved seeing her be so happy to leave that she gave the doctor a high five as we walked out!! (Rewind 5 minutes and she was trying to rip of his hands!) I enjoyed hearing her copy everything I said to the nurses as we left, her excitement to push the elevator buttons, and the shear joy of seeing our car. She is such a happy gal, and I am glad to be able to enjoy it! Jaylee is such a good girl, and I am thrilled to ENJOY watching her grow, laugh, and sleep!! Things seem so much easier on this side of the switch. I couldn't be happier!! I am just so grateful for a BUNCH of loving people who have helped me through this, and loved me--even when it was hard AND unexplainable. I just couldn't make the switch on my own for some reason, and even small successes were only temporary. I honestly can't say what even changed, but it has, it is real, and it feels good!
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5 comments:
Hi,I think that a lot of those feelings are normal after having a baby. The hormones are crazy, you don't love the way you look, you're not getting enough sleep and it's hard to do the things that YOU want to and need to do each day. A week or two before I have a baby I start taking a mild anti-anxiety/depression pill. It makes all the difference for me. I can sleep and it softens the blow of the baby blues. I'm glad you're happy though!
I am so happy for you that you are feeling so great! You are such a great mom Julie and I'm glad to have you as my friend.
I LOVE you Julie-Kaye! And I love how honest you are! This post just plain makes me happy.
I'm so happy for you. I know that must have been hard having those feelings and wishing it were different. I am so proud of you for working with a counselor and making an effort to change how you felt. That is awesome that you enjoy it. And let's be honest, not every day is enjoyable. But it's nice to make the most of it and enjoy the moments you can. I'm really happy for you. You are so awesome and I love your honesty. :)
"WHEW!" Music to my ears.......your natural gift of "Mothering & loving" has always carried me through so many dark times of my own. I'm so glad it's back! I felt responsible for taking it away because I depended on it so much. Thank you HF for return to my little princess the gift of love that has always been so powerful!" I know at times it grows tiresome, and I'm glad (in return) you allow me to relieve you for a moment so you can re-group. You are a perfect example of motherhood.....always allowing your little ladies to be right where you are.
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